Rob Astorino: Why Won’t Anyone Run With Me?

One week before the Republican convention, Rob Astorino can’t seem to find any friends in his own party these days. At least four Republicans from across the state have all told Rob Astorino “thanks, but no thanks” to joining the GOP ticket as his Lt. Governor candidate this year.

Maybe it’s because members of his own party see the writing on the wall: With Westchester having the highest property taxes in the nation, facing a racial discrimination lawsuit from the federal government, and having its credit rating downgrade reaffirmed just yesterday  – a growing list of Republicans are saying no to Rob Astorino’s losing record and his ability to run a state, including:

·       Assemblywoman Jane Corwin

·       Former U.S. Attorney Mike Battle

·       Assemblywoman Nicole Malliotakis

·       Rensselaer County Executive Kathleen Jimino

So given Astorino’s growing list of rejections, we’d like to offer some suggestions of potential running mates who may be available this year:

Michele Bachmann – she’s retiring from Congress and you both share the same Tea Party values

President of Noble Oil and Gas – cut out the middleman Ed Cox and go right to the source

Dick Cheney – go right to the source of the source

Fred Dicker – since you already spend so much time together

Billionaire Foster Freiss – a potential self-funder. Your friend and donor whose progressive views on reproductive rights will be a major asset in a statewide race. (“You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees.”)

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